Mortal Rumble 8: Ranma Saotome vs Po Ping
by jcogginsa
Summary: This time the fists of fury fly on Mortal Rumble as two master martial artists have at it!


**Martial arts are an age old tradition that gets a lot of love in Games, movies, anime, everything. And the wackier the martials arts, the kick assier the fights? That's why we've brought together to luminaries of the Wacky fighting Genre: Ranma Saotome and Po the Panda!**

_The Combatants_

Ranma Saotome the son of Genma Saotome, a noted asshole. When he was just a young boy, Ranma was taken from his home by his father in the ways of martial arts. However, in order to convince his mother Nodoka to let that happen, his father promised to make Ranma a Man amongst men, otherwise both would commit seppuku. This would end up being a major problem, as Ranma would eventually fall into a cursed spring at the Jusenkyo training grounds in china. The spring, known as the spring of the drowned girl, turns him into a woman whenever he's splashed with cold water.

In his life Ranma has gained arranged marriages. One was made by his father and his friend Soun Tendo. This arrangement didn't specify who he would marry, just that he'd marry Soun's daughter. His second arranged marriage was to Ukyo Kuonji. Genma promised Ukyo's father his son's hand in marriage, then stole their food cart. As previously stated, Genma is an asshole. Ranma's final fiancée is the Amazon warrior from china (wrap your head around that) Shampoo. Shortly after being cursed, Ranma stayed at Shampoo's village for a time, and ate the feast that was supposed to go to the winner of the town's annual martial arts contest. In order to make things right, Ranma kicked the winner's ass. That winner was Shampoo, who was now obligated by village custom to murder the shit out of any foreign woman who defeated her. Eventually shampoo found out Ranma was actually a dude, making her obligated by a separate village tradition to marry him. Yeah, Ranma's got way more than 99 problems, but these bitches are still number one.

Ranma's male body is average height for a teenager, and has black hair done up in a ponytail. He ties his pony tail with the Dragon's Whisker as a result of eating some cursed noodles. If his ponytail is untied, his hair will grow and grow until he runs out, becoming bald. However, this only goes for his male form, his female form is fine. Ranma's typical clothing consists of Chinese style shirts, dark pants, and slip on shoes. In his female form Ranma's becomes shorter, has red hair, and a dynamite set of (Insert breast euphemism here).

Ranma is both incredibly fast and incredibly strong. He can punch 518 times in a few seconds even before going under specific training to increase his speed. After said training, he was able to punch the same spot hundreds of times so quickly that it looked like just one punch. Ranma's strength is immense, but inconsistent due to outside factors. Ranma broke his legs when he landed carrying his fiancées, but he was recovering from poison. He was under to lift a 100 ton Buddha statue off of himself, but he wasn't properly motivated. However, he has been seen supporting his rival Ryoga on his head whilst the latter was lifting up the ice in an ice ring, and on another occasion lifted a forty ton boulder and shoved it into a giant snake demon's mouth with little effort. He's also been shown to trade blows with Ryoga Hibiki, who's been estimate to have strength in the thousands of tones.

Ranma has immense skill as a martial artist, and is able to master most martial arts styles in days if not hours. However, when creating or learning single techniques, he has more difficulty. Ranma is also very crafty in battle when he needs to be, though he defaults to honorable combat, only getting tricky if motivated. Ranma is prideful to a fault, and very overconfident.

Ranma's Primary Martial art is the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu. It is translated as either the School of Indiscriminate Grappling, or more commonly as Anything Goes Martial Arts. Anything Goes is a powerful art, focusing on learning and adapting to many different martial arts, picking and choosing techniques to add to itself. Thus it can be said that any martial art Ranma learns becomes a part of Anything Goes. Anything goes is divided into two branches, the Tendo School which appears to focus on armed combat, and the Saotome School which focuses on unarmed combat and is the superior of the two due to its practitioners more active life. Obviously, Ranma uses the Saotome School. However, the Tendo School is more suited to fighting multiple opponents, which has its perks. Another difference in the two branches is the fact that the Saotome School prefers agile aerial combat whilst the Tendo School is better on the ground. It should be noted that although his school prefers unarmed combat, Ranma makes frequent use of makeshift weaponry, and he is never reluctant to use weapons when they factor into his Martial Arts contest of the week.

Like any good (Or existent) Martial art in anime, Anything Goes has its own special moves. The first is the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, or Chestnuts Roasting Over An Open Fire Fist. The Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken was not originally an attack, but a training method. The training method was a speed enhancer that consisted of trying to pluck chestnuts from an open fire. After mastering it, Ranma co-opted the name for his rapid fire fisticuffs, leading to much confusion. This technique was originally part of the Chinese Amazon martial arts, but when the elder cologne taught it to Ranma (so he could defeat a pressure point handicap that she herself inflicted) he added it to the Anything Goes arsenal.

The Shishi Hokodan is a ki blast attack powered by the user's depression. Ranma studied it for days after his rival Ryoga used it to instantly defeat him, but could never properly master it due to his own confidence. So instead he created the Moko Takabisha, or Pride of the Fierce Tiger. The Moko Takabisha works on the same principal as the Shishi Hokodan, but is instead powered by the user's confidence, which Ranma has in spades. However if the user becomes unnerved by their opponent, the technique loses power.

Another of Ranma's invented techniques is the Parlay du Foie Gras. Ranma invented it to win a martial arts eating contest. When it became appearent that he could not win, he took advantage of the rules, which penalized you if you were seen eating your food. Parlay du Foie Gras focuses on stuffing your opponents mouth full of food so they themselves cannot eat normally, whilst also incorporating the element of distraction so his own eating went unseen.

By far Ranma's greatest attack is the Hiryu Shoten Ha, or Heaven Blast of the Dragon. Ranma learned this technique when the inventor of Anything Goes, Happosai, used a pressure point called the weakness moxibustion to sap all his strength, making him literally too weak to hurt a child. Fortunately, he retained his speed, letting him use this technique. The Hiryu Shoten Ha requires the user to develop a soul of ice, turning his ki cold. Then he leads his foe in a circular pattern, creating a spiral that mixes his ice cold chi with his opponent's hot chi. The hot chi is usually created from anger, though other emotions such as perversion work equally well. The final step of the Hiryu Shoten Ha is an upward corkscrew strike. If the technique is properly done, this will create of fucking tornado. What happens next is self explanatory.

When the regular Hiryu Shoten Ha proved ineffective, Ranma has modified it into several variants. The first is the Hiryu Korin Dan, or Flying Dragon Descent Blast. The Hiryu Korin Dan involves Ranma manipulating ambient ki left over from other ki blasts into his spiral, then firing a blast into the middle to set off the mix. This essentially turns the entire thing into a giant Moko Takabisha. The second is the Hiryu Hyo Toppa, or Flying Dragon Ice Breaththrough. The Hiryu Hyo Toppa uses actual hot and cold air to create a thin razor edged whirlwind, freezing the foe solid.

His father eventually taught Ranma a secondary style to integrate into his Anything Goes. This style was the Umisenken. The Umisenken was based on a style of burglary, same as its brother style Yamasenken. The Umisenken was based on the silent burglar, who entered the house through the backdoor and stealthfully stole everything. The Umisenken relied on becoming emotionless to the point where his presence disappeared from the world. Then he could combine that with his own high speed for devastating blows. Using this basis, Ranma managed to steal the very foundation from the Tendo Dojo.

Don't let creating the Umisenken fool you though, Genma Saotome is still a thorough moron. Evidence: The Nekoken or Cat fist training. When Ranma was six, Genma tied fish sausages to him and threw him into a pit of hungry cats, hoping to imprint the fighting ferocity of a cat onto him. When it failed, he repeated the process once with dried sardines, once with salted sardines, and once with fish cakes. As result, Ranma has developed an intense phobia of felines. When trapped in proximity with him for too long, he enters the Nekoken state, which turns his mind into that of a cat. He is incapable of holding back or strategizing in that state. Furthermore, he is completely unpredictable. There is no way of controlling who he attacks or how badly, and he is just as likely to leave due to boredom or fear as he is to stand and fight.

Other than Anything Goes, Ranma has learned a variety of different martial arts throughout the anime and manga. These include, but are not limited to: Martial Arts Rhythm Gymnastics, Martial Arts Shogi, Martial Arts Calligraphy, Martial Arts Cheerleading, Martial Arts Take-Out Delivery, Martial Arts Tea Ceremony, Martial Arts Figure Skating, and Martial Arts Gambling.

Po Ping is a big, fat panda. More specifically he is the dragon warrior, the warrior of black and white, and THE big, fat panda. Po is easy going and playful. He is very merciful and forgiving, even to his enemies. He is a huge fan of kung fu in all its forms. Po is also a glutton for food, and can be overly boastful before fights. He is very confident in his skills.

Po uses a style of Kung fu designed specifically for his panda physique. Po uses his bulky physique to take blows and send them back, effectively using his opponent's strength against them. Po has shown the ability to survive great physical damage without permanent harm, though he sometimes feels dazed or confused afterwards. He's fallen from great heights, been shot with cannons, and survived hits from incredibly powerful martial artists.

Despite Po's fatitude, he has displayed keen swiftness and agility in the past. He is able to spar with Master Shifu, possibly the swiftest kung fu master, regularly, and avoided all of Lord Shen's knife slashes. Despite his own self deprecating opinion, Po is also quite stealthy, being able to sneak past Shifu's keen senses with ease.

Once Po achieved inner pace, he was able to create and perform many techniques considered to me impossible by his peers. On one occasion he modified a water redirection technique to catch and return cannon fire. Po has also shown the ability to master various weapons instantly, and recreate master level Kung Fu attacks after only seeing them (or being hit by them) once.

Among Po's repertoire of moves is the Wu-xi finger hold, a mysterious but apparently lethal technique. Others include the Fluttering Finger Mind slip, which on the first use erases short term memory, but repeated uses will eventually destroy the victim's entire memory, causing death. There is also the Golden Lotus Clap, which produces a blinding wave of golden light, which Po has a habit of not closing his eyes to. Po can also use the Thundering Wind Hammer, one of the seven impossible moves of kung fu. To use this move Po spins around and suddenly stops with his palm outstretched, shooting a ball of energy at the foe. Po can also use a second of the impossible moves, the Mongolian Fireball. The Mongolian Fireball is a slow moving projectile attack which sucks things into it like a black hole, getting smaller and smaller until it goes out.

By far Po's greatest asset is the Hero's Chi. The Hero's Chi is a great power bestowed by the universe to one person in a generation. The Hero's Chi once brought Po back from death itself, and vaporized a powerful dragon demon known as Ke-Pa.

You've read the abilities; now let's see who wins this!

The Scenario

"Po!" said the stern voice of Master Shifu as he entered Po' room.

"YesMasterShifu?" Po said quickly, as he tried to hide the action figures he was playing with behind his back.

"Where have been reports of a pair of Dine and Dashers running rampant across the valley of peace. I want you to find them and capture them,"

"You got Shifu. Dine and Dashers are the third worst kind of scum there is, after tax collectors and fake nun chuck salesman"

"Whatever, just find them." Shifu ordered

"Now, if I were a dine and dasher, where would I dine and dash from?" Po pondered as he walked through the village square. Then it struck him "Dad's noodle shop!" he said, before rushing off to said shop.

As he ran through the entrance, he crashed into a young man in a red shirt, sending both to the floor. Po, thinking no one would run from his dad's place unless they were cheating him, jumped to the conclusion that Ranma was the dine and dasher

"Found you!"

"Wait, what?"

The Rumble

"Hi-yah!" Po shouted as he struck Ranma in the face with a palm thrust. Ranma was knocked back with a grunt. Then he stood and said "Okay! Now it's on! Parlay du Foie Gras!" Suddenly Po found his mouth stuff with forty dumplings. "How do ya like that?!" He shouted at Po. Po swallowed them all in one gulp, and said "Delicious!" before jumping forward with a kick.

Ranma caught the kick and slammed Po overhead into the ground. Po immediately jumped to a handstand and used his legs to toss Ranma into the kitchen. Po jumped to followed, but got hit in the face with a wok for his troubles. In response, he reached over and grabbed another wok, then hit Ranma in the face with it. Ranma growled and backstepped, Po doing the same.

"Okay, try this!" Ranma shouted as he threw a straight punch at Po's gut. Po recoiled, but using the same method that he had with Tai Lung, redirected the force into his arms and body checked Ranma through the kitchen wall. Ranma landed on his knees, and thought '_That fat let him hit me my own strength. What I need to do is hit him so many times that he can't. And I have just the move._'

Po struck forward, but Ranma dodged to the side and shot out a flurry of punches. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" he called as he struck Po hundreds of times in a single moment. The barrage sent Po flying back through a wall, into the town square. Ranma walked smugly up to the resultant hole, expecting Po to be unconscious. To his surprise, the panda wasn't knocked out, and in the process of standing up.

"Okay tubby, you're tougher than I gave ya credit for. But I ain't done yet. Moko Takabisha!" The bright yellow ki blast shot forward at Po, who spun, suddenly stopped, and shot his own attack whilst yelling "Thundering Wind Hammer!" Po's swirling green energy blast met Ranma's confident yellow ki blast, and was completely overcome. Po's face had panic written on it as he hastily ducked to the side. The Moko Takabisha continued on, and struck a house, completely vaporizing it. Po gasped, worried, but calmed down when the occupant stood and said weakly"I'm okay!"

"Moko Takabisha!" Ranma called out, repeating the previous attack. Po braced himself and, when the attack came, instead of dodging it, he performed his Catch and return move, sending the attack right back at Ranma. Caught totally by surprise, the attack struck him head on, though he didn't take too much damage as it was his own ki. "What the? How the heck did ya do that?!" Ranma shouted. Po smirked "It's nothing. Just takes a little inner peace. But that's not my only trick" he said, before taking up the same stance Ranma had just used "Moko Takabisha!" Po shouted, having figured out how Ranma's move worked just from seeing it twice. Hastily, Ranma threw out his own Moko Takabisha. The ki attacks clashed briefly, but Ranma was shaken by seeing his own attack redirected and copied, while those same things made Po even more confident. Thus, Po's Moko Takabisha won out over Ranma's, and the black haired martial artist was blasted back.

Though hurt, Ranma was not about to stand down and quickly stood up. Concentrating briefly, he emptied his mind of emotion, and activated the Umisenken. He charged Po, and began to beat him around like a punching bag. '_Okay, can't sense him or see him coming. So I gotta use an attack that hits everywhere at once._' Po thought, before slamming his hands together and shouting "Golden Lotus Clap!" sending a wave of blinding golden energy in every direction. Ranma was struck and knocked to the ground, his surprise taking him out of the Umisenken. What's worse, he had been blinded by the attack, As for Po, he'd finally remembered to close his eyes when using it.

With his enemy vulnerable, Po rushed forward and began using the paralyzing pressure points. Ranma did his best to dodge around them, but he was blind, and each successful strike paralyzed part of him. But even blind and slowly becoming paralyzed, he had one move he could always perform. And so his dodges, which to Po looked like the frantic actions of someone who knew he was beaten, lead the panda in a spiral formation. Once it was done, Ranma lashed out with his arm, his only nonparalyzed limb at that point, and delivered an upwards corkscrew strike. As he did so, he yelled out "Hiryu Shoten Ha!"

The sudden tornado carried Po high into the sky, above the clouds, as Ranma fell onto the ground with a contented sigh

Winner, Ranma Sao-

And then gravity took effect, and the unconscious Po landed atop Ranma, knocking him out as well

…Tie

Reasoning

Ranma's physical strength and speed outclass Po by a fair bit, but his pride means he wouldn't strike with all his might in the opening stage of the battle. That gave Po the chance to weaken Ranma with some of his kung fu techniques, as well as copy a few moves off the Anything Goes playlist. Furthermore, he has moves like the paralyzing pressure points which, if they hit Ranma, would win the battle then and there. But despite all that, Ranma's vastly superior stats made me feel uneasy about letting Po come away with a solid victory. Hence, the tie.


End file.
